One thing I don't do quite so much anymore is step over any crack in the pavement or line on the ground with my left foot first. Every block of concrete on the sidewalk has to take two steps, to keep the rhythm. Drives me nuts, really, odd numbers, especially when it comes to footsteps, but I've been working on it, and it bothers me less and less every day. Problem is, you drop one stupid habit and pick up another one, probably worse. Now I've always got this feeling that everyone everywhere is trying to fuck with me. All day today it seems like people are purposefully getting in my way, driving me off the sidewalk into the street, pushing me into walls and doorways. Paranoia? Probably. Maybe not though, and that worries me a lot, sometimes enough so that I can't sleep and end up making bad mix tapes and fruitlessly checking my email all night. Then I'm all tired at work the next day, and on edge because I haven't slept and there's no food or toilet paper in the house and I won't buy any because I think the guys at the grocery store are always fucking with me but I don't know for sure because I don't speak Spanish. Then I get knocked into the street again after work and can't sleep and the shit keeps going on and on, around and around and the only way to stop it is to get shit-faced, falling down drunk one night which just makes me completely forget about not stepping over cracks with my left foot first and there I am, back where I started, and there's nothing left to do but leave town and try to do it all over again, and this time, do it right. Not to say that I'm leaving town, because I'm not, but I think the cracks in the sidewalk and the pedestrians on Atlantic Avenue are trying to hint that maybe I should.